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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28354143">the night we met.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/joaniemalfoy/pseuds/joaniemalfoy'>joaniemalfoy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Bottom Draco Malfoy, Dark, Draco Malfoy Needs a Hug, Draco Malfoy Redemption, Draco is SHORT, Emotional, Emotional Hurt, Emotionally Repressed, Flashbacks, Good Draco Malfoy, Heartbreaking, Heavy Angst, I Made Myself Cry, Implied Bottom Draco, Implied Sexual Content, Implied Smut, Implied/Referenced Sex, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Memories, POV Draco Malfoy, Post-Battle of Hogwarts, Sad, Short Draco Malfoy, Top Harry Potter, draco malfoy redeems himself personally, good draco?, implied top Harry, like this is rlly fucking sad</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 21:20:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,388</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28354143</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/joaniemalfoy/pseuds/joaniemalfoy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>He didn’t get a chance to apologize. He didn’t get a chance to do anything. He had seen Harry the day before. He had seen him laugh with his friends, and take note in class. He had seen him eat lunch and play Wizard’s chess. He looked so happy. </p><p>But the fucking bastard was lying. He was a goddamn liar. <br/>Because one second he was grinning like a goof and the next his body is limp. </p><p>_-*-_-*-_-*-_-*-_-*-_-*-_-*-_</p><p>rated mature for language and content. angsty fic about post-war, where harry sadly ends his life. draco is coping and mourning. super sad fic, in my opinion, so you've been warned. </p><p>contains draco growing due to this and going through his main memories with harry, when they didn't hate each other.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>45</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. take me back, to redeem myself.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i suggest you listen to 'the night we met' by lord huron while reading. this is what it's based on, and the vibe i got off from that song.</p><p>its an extremely emotional song for me, and making an angsty fic like this was out of my comfort zone, yet i liked writing with this style. still, please be gentle with me. </p><p>posting another chapter tomorrow. enjoy.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>[ I am not the only traveler</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Who has not repaid his debt</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>I've been searching for a trail to follow again</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Take me back to the night we met ]</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Draco begged for a redemption. A way to go back, to re-do everything. He promised he wouldn’t be a coward this time. He promised he would make use of it. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He wanted to desperately punish himself for the fact he had never done it before. How he was a fucking </span>
  </em>
  <span>coward.</span>
  <em>
    
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But everything was said and done. There was nothing he could do but let the tears fall down his face and wonder what went wrong. What could he have done to prevent it. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It seemed only yesterday that it happened. It seemed like everybody had moved on. Like that they had expected this to happen. They blatantly ignored Harry’s desperate cries for help and let him go through with it. Let him do that to himself. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>[ Please come back, Harry. Harry, I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. If you would have reached out to more people. I would have believed you. I would have done everything I could to help you. I could have stopped it. It’s my fault you're gone. It’s my fault you aren’t here anymore. ]</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Draco’s eyes burned, his face burned, his lips chapped, his head ached. He was in so much pain over this boy. He was trembling all over. He was still in shock. He was unable to process it. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He didn’t get a chance to apologize. He didn’t get a chance to do anything. He had seen Harry the day before. He had seen him laugh with his friends, and take notes in class. He had seen him eat lunch and play Wizard’s chess. He looked so happy. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But the fucking bastard was lying. He was a goddamn liar. Because one second he was grinning like a goof and the next his body is limp. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Draco burst into tears again. If he would have been given a little more time. If he had looked closer. For any warning signs. Any signs at all that Harry was feeling like that. Feeling like the entire world was against him, like he was a lamb to the slaughter. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He had so much pressure onto him. He’s only seventeen. He’s only a child. He’s barely an adult. And now he will never be an adult because of all the shit they put him through.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What Draco put him through. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Draco didn’t want to think about it. He didn’t want to think that he was to blame, even if it’s partially. He and Harry ended on a bad note. Draco assumed Harry was dead during the war, and lost all hope. He joined Voldemort in the end because he felt like he had no other choice. He would die anyways. Potter was dead, what was the point?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He was too shocked when Harry turned out to be alive to act quickly enough. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He wished he had ran back over to the students. He wished he showed Harry that he was on their side. He wasn’t bad. He wasn’t the bad guy. He was with Harry. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Harry, I’m sorry,” Draco whimpered pathetically, staring up at the sky. He needed to get out of the castle. Every corridor he went down, every room he entered, it seemed there was somebody there to remind him that he was gone. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>In a blind panic, he escaped to the docks. Looking out onto the lake and the castle, he trembled. It was a fairly warm November day, but Draco couldn’t even tell. He was shivering like it was snowing. He felt like if he stood up, he would faint. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Harry, I know you can’t hear me. If you can, you can’t respond. Which honestly makes me feel better,” Draco said, pursing his lips. “I just need you to know that I’m sorry. I’m on your side, I promise. I’m sorry. I know it’d be silly to forgive me. I did so many shitty things to you and your friends. Please, if you’re listening, please just know that I regret it all. It’s pathetic for me to admit this now, but you’re all I’ve got, Harry.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Draco felt his tears come on strong. He could barely understand himself. “Nobody but you would smile at me in the hall. I don’t know why you did it. You’re too noble for your own good. But it made me feel something for once. It was the thing I held onto everyday. The thing that I looked forward to. And… And I wish I could have been able to do something like that for you. If it would have pushed you to stay. Even if it was just long enough for me to tell you this face-to-face.” Draco sniffled into his sleeve, pulling his wand out of his pocket. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Draco stared down at the wand. This was the wand that defeated Voldemort. The wand Harry held. The wand Draco begged Harry to use because he couldn’t bear the fact Harry thought Draco was a scumbag Death Eater. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He sobbed. He sobbed because this wasn’t some fairy-tale. It was real life. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Harry wasn’t coming back. Harry was fucking gone. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Please come back,” Draco begged, “I need you. I don’t know what the fuck I’m going to do. This hurts so much, and I couldn’t tell you why.” Draco looked onto the horizon. Harry wasn’t listening, so what the hell.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I think it has something to do with the fact I really, really love you. And I fucking hate myself for it. I hate that you’re the thing I looked forward to everyday. Even though I knew you hated me, you were still nice enough to smile at me. It was small, but it made me feel like I wasn’t invisible. And that there was somebody who would have cared if I hadn’t come back.” Draco was holding onto the wand so tightly that his knuckles turned white. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Draco looked back up at the castle. A small breeze washed over him, drying his tears. He felt like he had run out of tears to shed. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>For some reason, the breeze smelt faintly of cinnamon and peppermint. </span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. then i can tell myself, dont fall too hard.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>memory one: a discarded memory of fourth year. where draco learns that his name was not only meant dragon, but was also a constellation. </p><p>he never forgot it.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this is just for fun. don't come after me if everything isn't 100% accurate LOL. </p><p>enjoy. another update tomorrow, probably x</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>[ And then I can tell myself</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>What the hell I'm supposed to do</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>And then I can tell myself</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Not to ride along with you ]</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Draco felt nauseous, quickly slipping away from the Yule Ball. He had taken Pansy Parkinson, one of his friends, but honestly didn’t want to. He didn’t care for a ball that much anyways. Especially the dates. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And maybe the fact he longed to be the Parvati twin right now, dancing with Harry Potter. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It was an odd realization, this admiration for Potter. Maybe it was because he looked especially good with longer hair. Maybe it was because he was taller than Draco. Maybe it was because he had really proved himself in this tournament. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Draco didn’t know why, but it made him feel sick. Like there were a bunch of fluttery things in his stomach, and his heart was going crazy. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He stepped into an abandoned and dark corridor, sitting on the ledge and watching the snow fall. He fiddled with his wand, looking up at the dark sky. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Despite the snow, he could still make-out some of the stars. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Anybody sitting here?” A voice said next to him. Draco looked up at the boy, who looked a lot like Potter. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“No,” Draco whispered, scooting over. Harry slid onto the ledge, right next to Draco. “Shouldn’t you be in there? Why are you out here?” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I could ask you the same thing,” Harry chuckled, looking up where Draco was looking. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I asked first,” Draco retorted pettily. Harry laughed. It was a sort of addicting laugh, which Draco admired. If he weren’t Harry’s enemy, he would compliment it. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“It was stuffy in there,” Harry said simply. Draco nodded in agreeance, leaning back onto the pillar behind him. “You know you’re named after a constellation,” Harry said randomly. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What?” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Your name. Draco. It’s a constellation,” Harry said. The two boys’ eyes met. Draco, realizing how close their lips were, looked back at his hands.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I just knew it meant dragon,” Draco admitted. Harry pointed toward the stars. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You see the big dipper and the little dipper?” Harry said softly. Draco furrowed his eyebrows but nodded. “There’s a line sort of in between that, Thuban.” Harry’s finger traced the stars, and Draco watched, embarrassingly close. “That curve right there is Draco.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Draco looked at Harry next to him. “How do you know that?” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Harry shrugged, Draco barely noticing the faint blush that went across his cheeks. “I have a lot of time on my hands over the summer. And my cousin got this constellation book once and never used it so…” Harry trailed off, and Draco nodded, accepting that answer. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Draco looked back up into the sky, admiring the constellation Draco. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He didn’t notice somebody admiring Draco, too. </span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. haunted by the ghost in my memories.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>sectumsempra. </p><p>but what happened afterward?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>[ I had all and then most of you</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Some and now none of you</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Take me back to the night we met</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>I don't know what I'm supposed to do</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Haunted by the ghost of you</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Oh, take me back to the night we met ]</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Malfoy, I’m so sorry,” Harry gasped, “I didn’t know what the spell did, I swear to Merlin, I wouldn’t do that to you. I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Draco was convinced this was how he was going to die. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He barely remembered what happened. One second he was sobbing his eyes out, overheated and overwhelmed, and the next he was duelling with Harry Potter in the bathrooms, and then he was hit with a spell he didn’t have any knowledge of. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Then he was on the ground. And then he was sobbing even harder, because everything hurt. But not just because it felt like a thousand knives dug through Draco’s skin, but because it was Harry he was fighting with. The boy who made him love his name. The boy who had slowly gone from a nuisance to a silly crush. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The boy who was weeping over Draco’s mangled and bloody chest, begging for forgiveness. Draco didn’t want it to end this way. He didn’t want it to end because of a mistake. Because Harry was being an idiot. Because the two of them were idiots in their own stories. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Harry was wiping Draco’s hair out of his face, tears falling over both the boys cheeks. “Please stay,” Harry whispered, “Fuck, please, I’m sorry.” Harry held Draco closer, and Draco felt a warmth spread throughout his chest. Draco grabbed Harry’s arm, the pain unbearable. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m sorry,” Harry whimpered, holding Draco’s jaw. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Mr. Potter,” A low voice said. Harry’s head whipped around. Draco physically cringed at both the sudden movement and the voice of Severus Snape. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Sir, it was an accident, I swear. We were duelling--” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Save the excuses, Mr. Potter,” Severus said, and Harry shut his mouth. “Get out. Leave.” Harry looked pitifully down at Draco, who had his eyes closed. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Harry leaned down, lips barely an inch from Draco’s. “I’m sorry, Draco.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Draco. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Coming from Harry’s lips, hearing it from his voice. It felt like electricity. Pure bliss. Draco barely had time to enjoy it before Harry was gone, and Severus cast healing spells. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The next thing Draco felt was a sharp pain in his chest and then he saw darkness. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“How are you feeling today, Mr. Malfoy?” Madam Pomfrey asked after giving Draco a dosage. Draco merely shrugged. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He felt like a fucking failure. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“There’s somebody who’d like to speak with you,” She said then, clearing up her stuff. Draco must have looked confused. “I’ll send him over.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Draco looked to the far end of the hospital wing, an arm draped across his stomach. He’d been there for way too long. He needed these healed quickly as possible so he could complete his mission. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Malfoy.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Draco didn’t have to turn to know who it was. “Potter.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>There was a long silence, in which Draco sat up. “Look, Malfoy, I just came here to apologize,” Harry whispered, “And I need to hear it from you that you forgive me. Now that you’re able to.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Draco turned to look at Harry. “What makes you think I’m ready to forgive you?” Draco said quietly, angrily. Harry looked up at this, rather shocked. “Or if I will at all?” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Harry looked back down at his hands. “Then I deserve that. What I did was fucked up.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p><em><span>Draco frowned, looking away from Harry. “You’re forgiven,” Draco whispered. </span></em><em><span><br/></span></em> <em><span>“What?” Draco didn’t look at Harry. Draco pursed his lips. “Really?”</span></em></p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Draco looked at Harry, with a deep sadness. “I have more things to worry about than you, Potter. I know this may be upsetting, but we’re not going to be able to have conversations like this anymore.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Draco, what are you talking about?” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Draco felt his face heat up and tears brim his eyes. If he looked at his arm, he would blow his cover. Draco just looked at the ceiling, begging the tear to stay put. He hated being vulnerable, and it came way too easily when it came to Harry. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Do you remember fourth year?” Harry said, in barely a whisper. Draco looked at him. </span>
  </em>
  <span>What?</span>
  <em>
    <span> Draco just nodded, not sure why he brought this up. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Do you remember during the Yule ball, we sat outside and looked at the stars? I don’t think I’ll ever forget that,” Harry admitted. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What are you getting at?” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Harry pursed his lips, “I don’t hate you, Draco. I may not completely understand why you made choices you made, but I’m not going to judge you for them. I wish things could have been different.” Draco looked down at his hands. He was ashamed. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I don’t have any choices, Potter. I don’t have any options. I know you may doubt me for this, but I don’t willingly follow my father’s footsteps.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Follow… what? Draco, what did you do?” Harry furrowed his brow. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Draco made the mistake of glancing at his left arm. It was an accident. He prayed Harry didn’t catch it. But he did. He always does. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Harry looked completely heart broken. “Draco..” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Don’t call me that,” Draco whispered, unable to suppress the tears now. They fell helplessly down his cheeks. “Call me Malfoy, like you always have. We aren’t friends, Potter, and we never will be.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Harry swallowed thickly. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Malfoy, I can’t take back what I said. I really wish things were different.” Draco looked away as Harry left. He couldn’t bear the pain. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He wished things were different, too. He wanted to go back. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Back to the night they met.</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. the night we seem to both forget. want to forget.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>timeline? we don't know her</p><p>seggs</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong> <em>[ When the night was full of terrors</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>And your eyes were filled with tears</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>When you had not touched me yet</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Oh, take me back to the night we met ]</em> </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Draco shivered as Harry’s hand slid, slowly, up his spine. Draco sucked in a breath, the room hot and stuffy. He didn’t want to think about it now.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He didn’t want to think of anything.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Not how hot the room was. Not how the mark on his left arm burned. Not how he had duties to fulfil, and how either of the two could be dead in the morning.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He wanted to think about Harry. The way they touched. The way Harry’s lips sent rushes of electricity through Draco, creating bruises made of absolute love and bliss.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The bed sank down beneath the boys’ weight. It creaked with every movement. Every moan, every sound sounded like it was going through a ravine, echoing.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Draco didn’t even care that it hurt. He didn’t care. He’d experienced worse pain before.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He wanted to feel it in the morning. He wanted that reminder that Harry had owned him. That he got what he long deserved. When he sat down, he wanted to cringe.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But, of course, that didn’t happen. Not because it didn’t happen, but because it was with Harry. Harry was gentle. Harry would never do that, even if Draco requested it.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Harry’s kind words and gentle reassurances urged the two through it. The two didn’t care if they were being loud. They didn’t care what would happen the next day, the fact they would have to forget all this. The fact that they would have to forget what they had.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> What everybody knew they had. They had to ignore it, for the sake of life or death. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Draco would die to be with Harry. But he didn’t know if Harry would do the same, and he was much too insecure to even ask. Now, he wanted to ask him. Of course, now. When it was too late. He wanted to go back.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> The night was full of gruesome terrors of all of Draco’s worst nightmares. The things he cringed at, even though he had created the scenario himself, in his mind. He trembled, the thought of Harry’s cold body making hot tears run down his flushed face.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Arms wrapped around his frail body, pulling him closer. Draco let Harry’s body heat envelop him, making him feel safer. He threw the thought away. He threw his fears away. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He breathed in Harry's scent. It was still strong over the sweat and humidity, the smell of peppermint and cinnamon. He loved the way Harry smelled. Nostalgic and wonderful. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Draco, I’ll never forget this,” Harry whispered. “I can’t. Not after everything.”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Draco didn’t know why, but he pretended to be asleep.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He wished he had answered Harry. Maybe then they would have had something. He would have been able to be his own person, and not a coward. Harry would have trusted him a little more. And Harry’s life wouldn’t have ended the way it had.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Instead, Draco fell into a dreamless sleep.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And he woke up in an empty bed, cold and alone. </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. lets not go back, lets stay in the present with your presence.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>because he went through that. he went through and came out okay. </p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>[ I had all and then most of you</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Some and now none of you</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Take me back to the night we met</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I don't know what I'm supposed to do</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Haunted by the ghost of you</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Take me back to the night we met ]</em>
</p><p> </p><p>The pain never faltered or ceased. It stayed. It carved a hole in Draco’s heart and buried itself there. And Draco carried that pain with him like a medal. A medal because he went through that. He went through and came out okay. </p><p>Every day he would be reminded that Harry wasn’t walking the earth as a mortal anymore. Every time he walked into a room, something had to remind him. And it was inevitable. He learned that over time. </p><p>He learned not to snap at somebody when they talked about Harry. He learned not to wait for something you want. He learned not to take things for granted. </p><p>He learned that cowering and following somebody above you would do nothing to help you in the future. He learned that the second you figure out you want something, grab it and never let go. Because it’ll be gone before you can blink. </p><p>Harry wasn’t gone, though. He was still there, he knew that. He was constantly haunted by the ghost of him, that it felt impossible to feel alone. </p><p>Haunted. </p><p>Haunted has always been made out to be a terrible word of ghouls and scary happenings. But Draco never felt scared when he felt Harry’s presence. </p><p>When he felt it, he took a deep breath. He felt himself get washed over with reassurance, and he continued. He did that when life got tough. </p><p>Maybe he was having a bad day at work. </p><p>Maybe he was thinking about opening the liquor cabinet. </p><p>The hauntings stopped him from doing a lot of stupid things. He often laughed because of course Harry would be so noble, even in the afterlife. </p><p>And with that mindset, he slowly recovered. He won’t lie and say it was easy. Because it wasn’t. Sometimes it was so difficult, he nearly ignored the presence. But he got through it, and he got through it okay. </p><p>He wasn’t exactly okay. He wasn’t exactly over it. He never would be. He knew that every day he would think of Harry, and wonder. Wonder about what might have happened, what could have been, if only things had been different from the start. From the night they met. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>End. </b>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i really hope you liked this short story. it was my first ever attempt at a full-on angst, and i think it was pretty okay. i got through it ;)</p><p>n e ways. kudos and comments are super appreciated!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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